Dark Chocolate Ho Ho Mint Mocha

I had the perfect blend of espresso & chocolate delicousness! Mochas are by far one of my most favorite things on this Earth.

I also have Energy Energy Energy. Not the greatest thing at 1am when you are home in a quiet house.

I also spent time with Josh by day and Ana by night and Nathan in between that. Love them all. My time with Ana was particularily wonderful. We laugh so much and can talk forever. We spent a long time in Caribou chatting and chatting.

Yesterday I filled out an eHarmony questionaire because it's free and I was curious what kind of people they would set me up with. I didn't realize there are such great guys in Minneapolis that are indeed interested in women. Perhaps someday I will meet one. In the meantime I don't have the money or the care to chat with these matches unless for some reason I figure out how to do it for free...and even then I find it kind of odd.

I don't like driving on snowy roads, but taking pictures in the snow is fun. Josh & I took some fun pictures I enjoy.

I like turning up my music in the car and singing really loud. Not many people get to witness it.

If you had a mouse in your house you would trap it.

Hey, It's Almost 2010

I'm going to end this year with a whole bunch of awesome.
2009 has been my favorite year of my life.

However, I will make it a goal to make 2010 even better.

Today was the first day I actually thought about the date.
I keep forgetting New Years is Thursday.

I have nothing of interest to say.
For that I apologize.

Misses & Wants, Wishes & Pants

I've noticed I'm a lot different than I used to be.
Some things look less appealing,
However, I find myself to be real and happy.

I have to say it because it's really really true.
I miss Minneapolis.
I miss the awesome people.
I miss the daily & nightly activites.
I even miss classes.

Things will get better here,
But for now I have been laying around the house
Bored out of my mind...

On the bright side I haven't been on my computer much.
Snaps for me.

I really want to read a book and I really want to write a book.
I really want to laugh until I cry
And dance until I fall over.
Some of these things might happen over a break,
Except that whole writing a book thing...

I'm going to Venezuela this summer.
It's official in my book.

Fashionable People doing Questionable Things...

Two Posts for One Day

So, I did none of the things I said I would. And now I am on blog number two for today. I just thought I would put up a video because I haven't done that in a while. It's hard to draw and videotape, but I thought it looked cool.

Also, I noticed something on facebook. Something I knew might bother me when the time came and something I knew was coming. However, it's a very good thing. A very very good thing. I'm just a little jealous I guess? Or something a long those lines... I wish I could manage to find a guy that I could see myself in a relationship with. But, ah, we already know this is hopeless in the moment. However, I've been having the time of my life...why do I have to get greedy? The time will come and that's all I have to accept. Maybe in the year 2010 I will trip into the arms of my prince charming. For now I am happy. And, it is official that he has moved on which is what I have wanted for a little less than a year now.

Hmmm...I'm sorry for my rambling. I guess I just needed my thoughts printed and I'm too lazy to keep a diary.

The top picture, which I failed to get down here...is my sweet new leggings I got for Christmas. I'm also wearing an awesome dress, but I that wasn't the point of the picture...I wanted an artsy picture...

Well, that is officially all I have for you tonight. I'm sure I will have a lot on my mind the next few days. Especially if I don't get out of this house and do something! =) Ciao.

Boredom

I had forgot what boredom feels like.
I am now reminded and I'm not a fan.
I hope tomorrow is different, but the odds of that are unlikely.

I hate wasting time.
Maybe I'll watch a movie or read a book?

We'll see what the night brings...

Today did not feel like Christmas.

Eve of Christmas

I never want to accomplish all my goals.
I never want to run out of things to discover.
I never want to stop having fun.
This is what I've realized my life is made of along with a lot of amazing friends and a wonderful family.

I'm loving the relaxation,
But missing my busy life.

I've been thinking of a lot of memories of old friends.
I can't wait to relive some of them over break.

I don't celebrate Christmas until the 27th because my mom is working...
Super Lame.

Though, I do wish you all a Merry Christmas.

Life is Beautiful.

Family Time

I have felt the essence of family at my house.

Yesterday the smell of homemade bread filled the air as I sipped my tea. Curling up in a blanket in a comfy chair while watching trashy TV and talking about my college experiences with my mom. Then we watched Julie and Julia. I was reminded how bad I want to visit France and how much I wish I could cook delicious food.

Today I went shopping with my mom before the snow came. It's always fun discussing good books and movies with her. Riding with her in the car and listening to her be dramatic about everything.

I got home and watched two very good movies: Expiration Date and Viva Cuba.

My mom, my dad, and I then played three games of Masterpiece (the game that pretty much is our family tradition). We laughed to the point of tears, ate truffles and cheese & crackers, and listened to a CD I made. It felt like a moment in a movie where everything is just perfect. I love my family in moments like these.

Now I'm watching (500) Days of Summer with my mom.

I'm really disappointed I couldn't make it to Briana's Party because of the large amount of snow coming, but I figured it wasn't worth it to argue with my parents. I have a long break and will get another opportunity. I really miss some people.

I'll get sick of my family soon, but for now it's practically movie perfect and I hope it stays this way until the weather gets better. I'm very comfortable and am enjoying a relaxing time with delicious food, beautiful movies, TV, and just everything I need in the moment.

Soon I will get the busy schedule going again.

I love my life.

I miss my friends.

My mom asked me to burn her a CD...1/2 is my beautiful Indie/Relaxing Music and 1/2 is Lady Gaga. I didn't picture my mom to be a Lady Gaga person, but it's an interesting fact.

My Future Set In Stone

This is where I am going to work in some amount of years.

I'm going to be fluent in 7+ languages including English, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, and Russian.

I'm going to volunteer abroad all over the world.

I'm getting my Master's in New York while I become best friend's with the UN's HR Department.

I now have my future set in stone and am going to do everything to get there. I like that idea. =)
------------------------
This weekend was a good one.

Tomorrow I have a meeting, a final, and girl's night...

Exciting?

I think yes.

Andrew & Krista go to Bobby and Steve's Auto World

My Humanities course introduced me to a new type of religion that I could see myself taking bits and pieces from, but not completely conforming to. It's called Stoicism.

The emphasis in stoicism is on virtue rather than pleasure for inner peace. It focuses on being passive on anything emotional because being emotional doesn't necessarily solve your problems. By focusing on those things that are within his power--his own will and perception--and detaching himself from the things that are not--health, death, the actions of others, natural disasters, and so on--he attains the inner peace of the wise and just man.

I really like certain ideas about this "religion" and certain things I find absolutely ridiculous.

I will share some quotes from the book Meditations by Marcus Aurelius every now and then that I think is actually worth something.

---------------------
In other news, I only have my Spanish final left and I have a feeling that it will be easy. My French final was harder than I imagined, but I should get the grade I need I hope. Two more days and I can stop thinking about school for a long time.

I have two volunteer jobs for next semester! One I am going to a meeting for on Monday at 11am. I need to figure out St. Paul by myself. Hopefully I can do it.

I went to a fun Christmas party in Maple Grove. I discovered there is another person added to my dislike list, but I discovered there are a lot of other people I really do like. In other news competitive/theatrical Catch Phrase is scary.

The Princess and the Frog is an excellent movie. I miss the classic animated Disney movies.

Today I am going shopping at Mall of America. I'm excited.

I wish you luck in your life!
--------------------------------------

"Do not let the future disturb you, for you will arrive there."

"Do not waste the remainder of your life in thoughts about others."

"Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting if you bear in mind that it has its limits, and if you add nothing to it in imagination."

Psych Final Today!

Psych Final Today at 1:30pm!!!

If I get 40% I get a C+
If I get 50% I get a B-
If I get a 60% I get a B-
If I get a 70% I get a B

(before the curve)

I don't expect to get anything higher and if it's anything around 80% or lower I still get a B. I am very pleased with these odds considering the worst I've ever done is 58%.

Now, I'm very aware you don't care, but this will be the hardest of all my exams and it is the only thing on my mind today before 2pm besides laundry and a shower.

Yesterday was a VERYYYY good day. I will leave it at that.

Pooping Keychain

Today I hung out with my favorite Sanford people.
This will definately be happening more.

I haven't been studying like I should.
I did, however, watch 2 disney movies in Spanish. I feel like it helped something.
I'll start studying tonight...or at least French and Humanities.

Tomorrow is my last day of Humanities and I FOR SURE get my paper back! Yay.

I also contacted the volunteer people at Casa de Esperanza and Centro Cultural Chicano. I hope they both email me back saying I can volunteer next semester. I will put my Spanish skills to good use.

I really enjoyed today.

=)

Did Not Meet My Expectations

Today did not go as expected.

I did not have my French Oral exam because my teacher is sick.
I did not get my paper back for reasons unknown.
Lunch was terrible.

It's okay though because I think tomorrow will be a good one. Maybe?

The rest of my week looks like this:

Tuesday: French Presentation, French Oral Exam, Spanish Oral Exam
Wednesday: French Listening Exam, Spanish Listening Exam, Humanities Quiz
Thursday: Psychology Final
Friday: French Final
Monday: Spanish Final

In other news, I have been watching cartoons in French and it has actually been helping me out a lot.

I will survive.

A Fractured Narrative for a Sad Ending

My. Brain. Hurts.
I have a headache

I had a good weekend.
I laughed in the romance section of Barnes & Noble
I saw Invictus-a very inspiring movie.
I saw beautiful dancing.
I danced in front of a camera.

Words are meaningless when they are forced.
I don't want to read 99 pages nor 500 pages...
But, I'm sure I will.

You are in control of your destiny. You control your soul.
As for now, my destiny is good grades.

I speak French decently. Tomorrow I hope my grade reflects that.

Sometimes you make me smile. Sometimes you break my heart.
Forever you will be testing its strength because I need you.

How long is forever?

Dreams May Come True

Just a little update on my life: I am in an excellent mood.
The weather is fabulous--despite being only 10 degrees.
I have managed to be fairly productive so far today.
I am almost done with the semester!
Good things keep happening.

I have calculated out what I believe my grades will end up being. I am satisfied if my predictions are correct or better than correct.

I keep daydreaming about getting 50/50 on my Humanities essay and every daydream ends with me passing out due to happiness or me smiling the rest of my life. Now, keep in mind, this probably won't happen...but I enjoy the thought. I can actually aim for just getting the same score I usually get and still end up with a semi-decent grade for this ridiculously difficult class. Monday is the day I will know.

French I feel like dying because I have so much to do. There are actually 320 points I still have to attempt to get. I find this a bit ridiculous.

Psych I have to pretty much re-read the entire book to study for my final I will probably do terrible on...however, I am very optimistic. I also daydream of getting 100% on this test resulting in the same reaction. It never happens, but dreams do come true sometimes.

Spanish is almost over. Nothing terrible to say about it.

I apologize for boring you with another rambling of my schedule, grades, homework, etc., but it's all that will be on my mind for 10 more days so just roll with it. I have developed an 11 day plan. So far I'm a bit behind, but also accomplished what I did in a reasonable amount of time so I'm not worried.

Best Wishes to You on this glorious Friday! Fa lalalala la la la la.

Eight

Today I took a nap.
It was the greatest thing I did all week.

Today I counted that I have 8 days until the end of the semester. This sounds managable until I count all the things I have to accomplish in those 8 days.

So instead I will think of it as:
-3 Finals
-2 Oral Exams
-1 Presentation
-1 Online Quiz
-4 Online Assignments
-1 Book
-1 Quiz

I can do it!

In other news the best advice I have for myself and for you is to not overthink things, take everything one step at a time, and DON'T STRESS.

That's all.

=)

That's All

I have lost my creativity so I can stop writing things that sound good, but really don't say a lot about me.

The past few days and the coming days have been quite stressful, but yet I've maintained a very good mood about it all.

I turned in my humanities paper today. I feel it went well, but he might think differently.

I enjoy good discussion. It's very satisfying. Thank-you.

I also enjoy good food. My dinners have been terrible because I've been promising myself I will avoid spending time with people so I get stuff done, which leads me to eat crap from the microwave. This evening I forgot I am out of Ramen so I filled up a bowl with water and put it in the microwave. Once I realized I didn't have Ramen I was left with a bowl of really hot water. I was surprised at the temperature and accidentally spilled it on myself, burning my hands and cursing at my life. The End.

I'm not sure how I feel about this weather yet. I enjoy snow, but hate the cold. I really want the warm fluffy snow.

I watch Garfield and notice how much they speak Spanish randomly. It's true.

I repeat, I've lost all creative energy so I hope you didn't expect this to be a good story.

That's all.

Lost in the Snow

She had been wandering among them for weeks now without showing the slightest glimpse into her life. It didn't matter, however, because nobody seemed to care. Everyone was going about their daily tasks, rushing to classes, and doing meaningless busywork.

If they were to stop to take just one careful look they would notice her blonde hair beginning to turn as white as the snow piling up on the ground beneath, her eyes turning a lighter shade of blue like the ice she walked upon, and her lips red from the burning wind blowing her hair into her face.

No one would care to notice that after wandering for weeks the girl was lost without memory of who she was or where she was going. Many wouldn't notice because they were trapped in the same world in which all you can do is pretend and all you do is worry.

She did not show her confusion, but rather went about with a dignified walk as if she new exactly where life was taking her. She would swipe the snowcovered hair out of her face and look straight forward. But, as she looked ahead she could see nothing but a white sheet of snow blurring her vision.

La Brisa

Beautiful winter air creeps in through the screen as I open my window.
The hot air that smothers me escapes and disappears.
My tired eyes are refreshed with that soothing wind.

La brisa del invierno lindo acaricia mi piel.
El aire lleno de vapor se desaparece.
Mis ojos cansados se despiertan con la brisa suave.

Darkest Crevice

I often find myself lost within the darkest crevice of my mind clawing to hang on. In this world pretending is impossible and everything I desire to be I am.

When I'm taken back to the place where nothing is ever exactly how I want it to be, I notice all the fakeness in this world. Every move I make becomes an insecurity; every step is an opportunity to judge.

I would love to bring my dream to the surface and be exactly how I imagine myself. I find that too far from my reach when people are telling me how I am. Change has an expiration date and the change I desire has been hiding in places I cannot see, waiting to disappear forever.

I miss the sweet taste of innocence soothing my tongue and the beautiful breeze of carelessness wrapping itself around me.

Now, I walk among the people I know, waiting for the day I'm forever trapped in a world of strangers. They will be unaware of who I was or who people told me I was. It will be the day I can stop trying to breathe and just let it happen.

Chit Chat

I chatted with a stranger for around 5 or 6 hours...
I'm pretty sure if I were to meet him in person we could call each other best friends.
I promise I won't keep chatting with strangers for I know of the dangers,
But I get bored.

My eyes are burning.
I'm tired.
I get to sleep in tomorrow!

I am officially a Spanish/Portuguese major as you know.
And, as I believed, a whole bunch of opportunites just opened up.
I am way ahead of the game and I like it that way.

United Nations here I come.

Goodnight.

Declaration

Just a couple of quick updates before I go declare my major... =)

-In the Heights was so epic I'm probably going to see it a second time this weekend.
-I am pleased with the classes I am signed up for, but not pleased with the times they are at.
-I don't have class until 4:40 tomorrow...this makes me really happy.


Gasp.

Beginning December

Bonjour.

I'm glad you are hear for me when I am not there for myself.
I'm glad your knowledge surpasses my own.
I'm glad you are easy to understand.
I'm glad I have you dearest Sparknotes.

Today was a rather lame start to December.
Some things went good.
Some things did not.
I am done with certain things for the semester.
I have yet to start others.

Registration tomorrow is going to be a whore.
If it turns out to be good and I get lucky,
Then I will gladly take that back,
But until then I stand firm in my belief.

I used to have my entire future planned out
Practically day by day for the rest of my life.
Now I know just a couple of things:
I will travel the world.
I will become an interpreter & writer.
I will live in a big city.
I will have a nice house.
I will live my life with peace and love.
The rest is up in the air
And I think I like it better that way.

Many creepers come out on Tuesday afternoons
And I'm pretty sure they all flock to one website.
I did however meet one normal person
Who also noticed the large amount of creepers out and about.
This website will not become a habit. Omegle.

Tonight is my last night as a shut-in
In order to get ahead on my homework.
It was a successful two days.

Tomorrow I will be In the Heights.

Good luck with your December

Yay.

Never assume
Because your assumption is often wrong.
------------
Today was excellent
For so many reasons.
-------------
I had 2 caffinated drinks that kept my energy level up.
We had a Substitute for French and she let us out early.
We didn't have a quiz in Humanities.
I'm really close to making Venezuela absolutely official.
I won 2 tickets to In The Heights.
I overestimated the amount of homework I have.
November has officially ended.
-------------
I hope all is going well in your life.

Believe

Religion scares me.
I feel like I have to defend myself.
So instead I hide my beliefs.
I don't know how much longer this can last.
I fear the worst.

I wish people were more accepting.

Importances

Dear world,

I received two important things in the mail today.
One awesome Southwest transcript that proclaims to the CLA I no longer need a Mathmatical Thinking class or a Social Science class...woo hoo!!
The other contained two posters of two of my favorite bands: Islands & Band of Horses. It adds more color to my room.

Tomorrow at approximately 10:30 in the morning I depart for home. It shall be an enjoyable experience. I have lots of homework, but whatever.

I am in the process of doing laundry. When switching it over I noticed that one of my white shirts turned pink, and then remembered I had just got a new sweatshirt. This saddens me. I don't need pink. I no longer like that color.

Registration is in a week for me. This is unfortunate because I am one of the last people to sign up. I'm trying to mentally save spots in the classes I want, but I'm not quite sure if that's going to work. Oh well.


In the meantime,
I wish you well.
Happy Thanksgiving.

Life is Waiting

On December 3rd I will tell the world that I officially know what I want to do.
On that day a lot more opportunities will open up,
And some people will start taking me more seriously.

Today is the day I have my last class for a week.
It doesn't mean the end of work or of life,
But I can finally rest my brain.

Tomorrow I have a day off in Minneapolis.
This is exciting.
I love my new home.

Thursday is Thanksgiving with my family.
I don't quite feel like we have much in common
But I still love and enjoy them.

Psychology tells me personality is mostly genetic,
I don't believe that with a lot of my characteristics,
But I also don't know where my personality came from.

27 Days until this Semester is over.
I'm really glad.
This semester was filled with plenty of unappreciated work.

Next semester will hopefully be what I want it to be.
I sign up for classes late so that might not happen,
But I'm optimistic.

I've seen beautiful film and beautiful art the past 2 days.
I want the rest of my life to be filled with such occasions
As well as lots of traveling and adventure.

That's all I really expect out of my life.

Goodbye. Don't fail.

Voy a sacar una A en mi examen de Espanol 1003.

The Struggle with Life

Dear Reader,

The end is drawing near.
I've held on stong for this long,
And will continue to persevere.

Grasping the straggling strings
On the neverending unwinding rope,
With the tips of my fingers.

Reaching one arm above the next,
In the struggle to make it to the top,
Or even just to survive.

Some others have made it,
The rest have fallen down
Into the dark valley below.

The damp soil rubs against my knees
Smearing my legs in cold dirt
As I kick to get a better hold.

The rocks pierce my feet
And the blood drips off to a place unknown
Where the rest have gone.

I close my eyes
Wanting nothing more than a rest from the struggle
Just a moment to take a deep breath.

As I make my way to the top
With my muscles sore and throbbing
Sweat drips from my brow and crawls down my face.

Minutes pass and I continue to struggle,
Anticipating the moment when one way or the other,
I will be put to rest and held in the arms of relaxation.



The semester is almost over.
Life is loved.
Times are tough.

A Poem Entitled Untitled Poem

I don't know or understand a lot of things,
But there are some that I do.

I can't possibly enjoy ever second in life,
But I choose to enjoy as many as possible.

I can't possibly know where my life is headed,
But I know it will be beautiful.

Some things aren't meant to be,
But some things are.

My dreams have fallen for a man whose name I do not know,
And I'm certain I'll never ask what it is
Even though you are just an arms reach twice every week.

My friend, I'll be with you until the end of time,
Knowing very well I can be replaced.

My friend, you'll be with me forever and ever,
Knowing very well I might change my mind.

It's amazing how hard it can be to say something,
Even though you want to say it so bad.

Rawwrrrhhh

Fact: My title has changed.
Fact: I simply wanted to change the font color so you could read it,
Fact: But it wouldn't let me do that.
Fact: So now my title is "Ninja See....Ninja Don't"
Fact: Clever, Lame, and Funny is what I'm going for...
Fact: I'll probably only get one of those three though.

Hecho: I'm going to Venezuela this summer.
Hecho: I am a very happy person and have completely developed a sense of balance...
except for diet and exercise as of this moment...
Hecho: I'm saving that for next semester.

I wish I knew if you existed.
I've always had my doubts.

Seriously: Now please, stop your creeping and get on with your life.
Your productivity is obviously not where it should be.

O O
""
It makes me sad no matter what I do...
His mustache won't line up with his face.
This is not a metaphor...
It's true.

O O
""""

FACT:...that doesn't work either.

Where Is Home?

It's been a long time since I cried.
I don't like how people expect so much out of me.
I wish I could focus all my energy on one thing, but the world won't allow that.
Right now I wish I had someone with arms I could cry into...
I don't want someone to talk to or someone to apologize for my own feelings...
I'm beginning to wonder if coming home this weekend will really be as epic as I had hoped.
My mom is already frustrating me and not understanding anything.
Meaningless events have already been blown into world extravaganzas...
I wish you could hold a mirror to someone's face and show them how ridiculous they are.
There are so many ridiculous people in this world.
And, the sad thing is they will never know how ridiculous they are.
I have so much to do tonight, but my emotions won't let me do anything but think.
A recent realization is also that I want a relationship,
But I find that idea impossible because for it to be worth it I would have to find this guy that probably doesn't even exist.
Recently if I had Esteban's number I would have called him (just to talk of course...I know we aren't getting back together).
It's probably a good thing I don't have it.
I don't want to end up saying things I don't mean just because I'm a little sad.
I feel like throwing up, yet also feel like eatting.
I hate being vulnerable.
But, it's been so long since I've felt like this that it doesn't really matter to me.
I don't care if you know how I feel...even though you can't possibly know everything.
I feel a little better now after listening to angry music and typing this.
I will survive.
And now I will put on my smile and go read...
Because that's just how it works.

Ze Week-End

I've enjoyed this weekend so much.
------------
-I've met cool new people.
One of them I will probably spending a great deal of time with and he also lives in my dorm so it's convenient.
-I had delicious delicious French food.
Cheeses, Fruits, Delicious Bread, Fondue with Mushrooms, Bread, and Apples, French French Fries (called Pommes Frites), and amazing lemonade and probably more that I can't remember...all of it was presented really fancy.
-Saw a crap ton of movies.
Funny Games, Heavyweights, Beauty and the Beast, Moulin Rouge, and lots of episiodes of Will & Grace
-Went to dairy queen really late.
-Had a sleepover in my dorm.
-Got up for brunch at 1:20.
-Walked to the Walker...
My legs killed and I had blisters, but we gave this guy an amazing tour of Minneapolis and had lots of fun doing so.
-Watched Andrew almost get raped...which was really freaky, but an interesting story.
-Watched the very original French Beauty and the Beast...which is very different from the Disney, and very entertaining...I want to see it again because I fell asleep during part of the ending because of lack of sleep.
-----------
Today the weather is crappy and by that I mean cloudy.
I did terrible on a French test I actually thought I did well on besides one little part...I don't understand and I'm hoping she made a mistake because seriously I knew my shit and didn't deserve a C...and if I got it, I guess my test average with the C included is still a strong B...so I'll get over it.
I really want to see the dance thing at Northrop on November 12th. I'll go with someone for sure.
I don't want this weekend of craziness to ever end. I do want a little sleep though...tonight I must go to bed before 5...otherwise death will be upon me.
------------
I miss you.
Greatly.

Things of Humor

Bonjour dearest friend.
-----------
I am feeling about every emotion ever, except for saddness because it's pretty much the lamest emotion to ever be invented. Humor would be the one noun that I would use to describe my mood today...one might even go as far to use the adjective humourous to describe my mood, but I find that it looks awkward so I don't use it too often.
-----------
Today many things of humor happend...nothing amazing, but definately mentionable. First of all, when waiting to cross the crosswalk I had a bike stop and wave me across then wait for me to get to the other side of the crosswalk...I was really confused by this, but it was a super nice gesture that made my day.
-----------
Later I was going to walk to Middlebrook and I noticed the Bridge Connector was waiting in it's usual location. I thought I would finally take advantage of this beautiful mode of transportation so I started speed walking to the point of my legs aching and the stuff in my backpack making a weird noise with every step...pretty sure my backpack was out of breath. Once I entered the bus I sat down and waited for another 10 minutes for it to take off. I felt a little ridiculoso, but it was still faster.
-------------
After lunch I noticed that someone had spilled Jello, stepped in it, then walked away leaving a clear footprint of jello stuff. Someone that walked by shouted: "A clue!" Everyone that heard it appreciated it (me) then everyone I explained it to also appreciated it.
-------------
As I was walking back to my dorm from middlebrook a series of funny thoughts ran through my head. First off, a girl was wearing a nice jacket with the zipper zipped but not the cool button things...the thought that ran through my head was: "Button up your coat and stop being such a hooker. Warm weather does not make prostitution legal." I'd explain this in detail, but I just think it's funny so enjoy. The second thought to enter my head was "Yes I'm naked under these clothes. Stop judging." I really want to shout that to anyone that gives me a weird look. I think it would be hilarious.
--------------
Once I arrived at my dorm I realized I really had to pee. Unfortunately the janitor was cleaning our bathrooms. I seriously just stood in my dorm and paced around in mini-circles then would open my door and look out...often making awkward eye contact with the janitor. I decided to go down to floor 3. I realized then that the floor 3 bathrooms are much different than the floor 4 bathrooms. It was weird. When I flushed the handle thing got stuck and it just continued to make that annoying toilet noise and I laughed at it for a second...then I decided to make it stop. I washed my hands like a lady and went back to my room.
-------------
Amongst all these things of humor I had a French test...which went fairly well I think? Good one might even say even though I'm not sure...it was rushed. And in approximately 2 hours 19 minutes and 31 seconds I have a Spanish presentation on Pablo Picasso. It shall be good I hope.
--------------
This weekend will be fun!
It's the weekend! Get off your butt and have some fun!

Fancy Feast?...I think so.

Today I indulged in a very filling dorm meal in celebration of Thursday. After tomorrow I have survived. I have a French written exam tomorrow morning and a Spanish Presentation in the evening. I hope both go well. So far this week hasn't been a fail by any means.

Yesterday I daydreamed in Spanish about the meaning of life and what I believe in. I think I've figured everything out. One of these days I will write it all out here, but I think I'll wait until I have it properly organized.

Before assembling my meal, while I was opening the triangle of cheese it slipped out and flew into the air and I caught it. It was by far one of the most interesting things I did all day. Sad, I know.

Next to me is a slip of paper that reads: Congratulations! You have finished your 1003 Oral Presentation...blah blah blah. I can't wait until this paper is true. I hate presentations. But, Pablo Picasso will treat me well tomorrow I hope.

Now, I leave you.

Goodnight.

Un Peu de Francais

Hey there. I have a French oral exam tomorrow so therefore I plan on typing what I want to say to help me memorize...so here it goes.

Bonjour. Ca va? Qu'est-ce que tu fais un week-end typique? Le week-end je sors avec des amis, je dors tard et regarde la tele. Est-ce que tu fais des activites avec tes amis? Nous allons du cinema et faisons la fete. Qu'est-ce que tu aimes faire le week-end? J'aime sortir avec des amis, dormir tard, et aller au cinema. Est-ce que tu vas a la bibliotheque? Je vais a la bibliotheque. Est-ce que tu vas au cafe? Je vais au cafe. Est-ce que tu as des project pour le week-end porchain? Le week-end porchain je vais diner au restaurant et sortir avec des amis. Qu'est-ce que tu veux faire ce week-end? Je veux dormir tard. Qu'est ce que tu vas faire vendredi? Je vais etudier. De quelle ville viens-tu? Je vien de Minneapolis. Comment est ta ville d'origine? Lake City est beaucoup petit. Quels batiments y-a-t-il dans ta ville d'origine? Lake City a un parc, un bureau de poste, et une eglise. Ou se trouvent-ils? Lake City est entre Red wing et Rochester en Minnesota. Comment est ton quartier? Mon quartier a beaucoup personnes. Qu'est-ce qu'on peut faire dans ce quartier? Nous pouvons aller au cinema, faire un promenade, et diner au restaurant. Que moyen de transport est-ce que tu recommandes pour se deplacer? Je recommande l'autobus. Comment viens-tu a la fac? Je vien en l'autobus.

I'm becoming quite the pro...right, right? Well, I'm not "nervous" for this test, but I'm a little concerned about it. I hope it goes okay. I need to study a lot.

Today was a really decent Tuesday if you were wondering. I spent time with Jon & James then Mike then Jon, then Mark, and later Riley. All this took place before 6:15 so therefore I now have plenty of time to complete my homework.

I should be getting another package tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then Thursday. This makes me happy again. I love mail.

Today someone complimented my handwriting and it made my day a little. Watching The Office during post-lunch time with Mike is fun.

Now that you know me you can start refering to it as the Post-Krista era.

The End.

♥

I am prepared to conquer any obstacle that dares to confront me.
--------------
When I don't know what to say I will smile.
It's what I do when I feel defeated and unable to defend myself.
It's a flaw of mine that probably saves friendships.
Though, most of the time, I wish I could do something other than smile.
I wish I could do something other than that sigh like I'm joking
Or that look nobody knows the meaning of.
In the meantime smiling seems easier.
One of these days it will be different.
---------------
I am, however, battling no new feelings.
I am getting more content every day.
Certain things just seem to never go away though.
I've come to just accept that.
---------------
I got a package in the mail.
It made me smile inside.
---------------
I miss you.
---------------
♥

Speechless

Sometimes I imagine moments of my life as if they are part of a movie.
Most of the time they are moments without words.
-----------
I have so much to say, yet am unaware how to express it.
-----------
I'll leave it to this:
I had an
-amazing morning: filled with watching cartoons and eatting pizza rolls in bed with lots of blankets.
-odd afternoon: that felt as if it was nonexistent.
-a fun evening: complete with movie with a friend & junk food.
-an odd night: in which I have so much to accomplish yet no motivation to do it...I have everything that needs to be done completed though so it's not a big deal.
----------
I had a nightmare last night where I was walking downtown with a group of three friends whos names I will not say. One of them got behind and didn't see a car coming and crossed the sidewalk. A car flew by and hit him really hard...so hard that blood was everywhere. I collapsed at my other friend's feet and started crying. I'm not sure exactly what it means, but yet I probably do. My subconscious doesn't really like you, but it cares about you. I apologize. The image will forever be in my head because it was the most bloody dream I have ever had in my life and very realistic. If I'm near you I will be sure to watch for traffic.
-----------
This week is going to hurt me. French is going to be absolutely ridiculous. I have lots of Psychology homework. Plenty of Spanish homework along with a presentation. And humanities there is always so much reading and a definite quiz.
------------
Monday: One more day closer to Friday. This weekend will be fun.
------------
Goodbye.
You're beautiful.

Army of Darkness

http://www.beintheheights.com/kristajohn
Hey. Do me a favor and just go to that website. You don't even need to stay on it that long. If I get enough people to go to it then I win free tickets to In the Heights. I had just given up because my friend is in 1st and I thought that was good enough, BUT he told me to keep doing it so now I changed my mind.
---------------
Enough with that though.
I saw Army of Darkness tonight, and can I say that it was the best worst movie I ever saw. Well, maybe not the best, but it made me laugh a lot.
----------------
Tomorrow my parents are visiting. I'm actually looking forward to this a lot. Not only do I get lots of stuff I asked for, but also they're pretty nice people. I think the distance really helped the whole relationship thing and I like it. I also get a TV/DVD player/Cable tomorrow...woo hoo!
----------------
It's gross outside and I don't approve.
I saw a gumby and gorilla costume...it was freaky in the dark...I thought they were going to rape me, but I survived.
-----------------
Remember to check out that website.
Go to it again if you must: http://www.beintheheights.com/kristajohn
-----------------
Thank-you for your awesome assistance. And thank-you to random people who read this. I'm glad you enjoy my words and blog decorations.
------------------
Happy Halloween. Tomorrow.

Beautiful Rain

Today it's raining, but I have had an amazing day so it doesn't really matter. I kind of enjoy listening to music that fits this weather and relaxing in my room.

I rearranged my room yesterday so I have twice the amount of space. It is so awesome. Next week I'll have everything I need and I'll take pictures.

Today James, Jon, Libby, and I performed a little skit for French class that made my day. We were overly enthusiastic about everything and the plot included Jon wanting to get stamps...this was our script:

Jon: Bonjour. Je besoins de timbres!
James: Nous pouvon a le bureau de post dans la ville.
Libby: Bon idee!
Me: Comment allons-nous en ville?
Libby: Nous pouvons prendre la bus!
*enthusiastic face*

I really love our French class. Everyone in there is a decent person and there are a lot of above decent people.

I don't have any homework I have to do tonight, however, I do have a super busy week next week so I will probably be trying to stay ahead. I have one more class to attend. Yay Spanish!

Have a beautiful Thursday.

Art

The bottom one is my interpretation of the one above it. It was done with pencil, pen, and markers.

I love drawing. Really only when I feel like it though because I don't have a lot of patience to take a lot of time.

I had a good day if you're curious. I won't go into detail tonight.

I'm either going to bed or going to read some Psych.

We'll see what happens...

Adios

Travaillais Le Coin de La Rue

It starts again...
Trabajaba la esquina used to be one of those things in Spanish that made me laugh.
I now figured out that Travaillais le coin de la rue means the same thing in French.
It doesn't sound nearly as funny, but it's the idea behind it that counts.
------------
Today was probably one of the most productive weekdays overall I've ever had.
I started off my morning at 7:30 by getting ready: taking a shower, getting dressed, putting on my face, etc.
I then started laundry.
While I waited for laundry I started reading my Humanities assignment and cleaned.
I went to French.
I got back and switched the laundry over.
I went upstairs and finished my humanites reading, did dishes, and got my stuff ready.
I then brought the laundry up and put it away.
Quickly looked over Psychology and took some notes from the online lectures.
I walked to Middlebrook and had dinner with Mike.
Studied for Psychology in the lounge.
Took a Psychology test.
Walked to Humanities.
Got coffee.
Walked to Spanish.
Class got out early and I went back, ate some fake chinese food, did my Spanish online assignments, did my Spanish paper, texted a friend, took a Psych quiz, read my Psych discussion assignment, and studied French.
----------------------
I will now either continue homework and get ahead or not...
---------------------
I did decent on my Psych test...much better than before, but still not satisfying to my expectations (76%) next time I will definately have an 83% or higher. I've decided. I also had coffee today, which I'm pretty sure made my evening really good because I got a lot of energy. Getting out of Spanish early and getting so much accomplished also helped my mood dramatically. Overall a very good day for no truly valid reasons in my book. I will make this week a fun one because I've just decided I will get ahead...then I will have fun fun fun the rest of the week...I miss those weeks.
----------------------
Sorry this is a little lame. I don't feel like being creative. One of these days I will.
----------------------
I can't wait for unknown events.
I am a very happy person now.
Oh, and by the by...feel free to comment in my little box...write me a message or something...I'm not sure...but you can.
Hasta Later.

I Feel Way Too Much Like Sunday...

Why am I trying so hard for something I probably don't want.
Why has my mind convinced me it will be better for me.
Why am I beginning to think differently of you.
It's only going to break your heart,
But I find it better to keep trying...
Just in case...
----------------
Hey. It's me again.
I had a really good weekend.
Now that Sunday has arrived, it is crappy again.
I hate Sundays.
The lighting is usually weird. The air is usually awkward.
And, you know there's a lot to do and a full week ahead.
Why is it so confused on its identity also?
Is it the last day of the week or the first day of the week?
Because it is referred to as a part of the weekend.
Yet, is classically defined as the first day of the week.
Sunday is just an awkward day.
-------------------
Friday and Saturday were quite similar.
Friday I spent most of the day with Andrew.
We went shopping at Target.
I carried 2 cases of his Cherry Coke Zero back and he carried 2 and a grocery bag.
It was a successful trip for him,
And both our arms were sore.
Then we hung out, partied, left a party, joined a party, and then we walked.
Saturday I went shopping at MOA with Andrew, Preston, and Mike.
It was fun, but shopping too long hurts my head...and that's what we did.
But, again, it was fun.
We went to Jimmy John's and then Mike, Andrew, and I watched a couple of movies.
And I stayed overnight at Andrew's dorm.
---------------------
Now I am left with Sunday.
I have laundry and dishes to do
And lots of studying to do for Psychology...
I have a test tomorrow...
A test I am just bound to not do well on...
Because they are rude people.
------------------------
I had a conversation with a person
And I acted differently...
I don't think that's a good idea,
But it works for now...
I know we are never meant to be...I know.

Queen Frostine

So I know what I'm going to be for Halloween: Queen Frostine from Candyland. I'm doing a bit of my own interpretation, but generally speaking it will be awesome.

This will be super fun.

Wish me luck.

7 Days before I have a TV! Yay! Movie Night will be epic I hope.

A Mi Me Cae Bien El Chocolate

Several things about the past two days have been really good and rather bad.
We'll start with the bad because that's how things work:

Yesterday I did homework all day.
Today I had a surprise listening quiz in French and I'm sure did terrible...or around a C probably...which is pretty close to terrible. Plus, I got a C on that composition essay that I said I would do good on. Fail prediction.

On the bright side of things I read 2 1/2 chapters of Psych and took 2 quizzes. This is amazing because the chapters are long and the quizzes are incredibly difficult. I didn't complete my goal, but I feel much better about myself.
I also discovered yesterday after taking my Spanish test that I really love Spanish. It wasn't even that I felt super great about how well I did...even though I'm pretty sure I did good. I just really love Spanish. It reassures that I'm doing the right thing because I have never felt this way about any other subject except possibly when I would look at really good Interior Design when I wanted to be an Interior Designer.

Today in French there was a couple of presentations. In one they gave us fancy deli chocolate and mousse. It. Was. Delicious. God, I love chocolate.

Tonight I might be going to target for a Halloween costume and then at 10:30 going to a Music/Dance Party in Middlebrook which I'm super excited for!

I still have lots of homework to complete that I didn't get to last night...
And for that I will leave you.

Today I will go puddle jumping...and not for fun.

My Life Story In the Form of Music

Today I didn't want to do homework so instead I went on facebook.
I was creeping on one person after another and found this note.
It was one of those where you put your ipod on shuffle and come up with your life story.
I went ahead and did it and wasn't pleased. Though it did make me laugh because everything was all mixed up.
--------
I came up with my own:

Opening Credits:
"Jennifer's Jacket" Presidents of the United States
(I don't understand either, but it would be funny)
Waking Up:
"Beautiful" Social Code
(I will wake up dancing in front of a mirror in my movie...that's just fact)
First Day of School:
"Loser" Beck
(I have no reasoning behind this)
Falling in Love:
"Falling In Love At The Coffee Shop" Landon Pigg
(Yeahhh I'll have one serious moment where I fall in love and share an epic kiss at a coffee shop)
Fight Song:
"Kung Fu Fighting" Carl Douglas
(I'm thinking of an epic battle here...epic...just saying)
Breaking Up Song:
"I've Seen Better Days" Citizen Cope
(I don't do the sad breakup thing...there will be dancing)
Prom Song:
"We Want The Funk" Parliament
(I've always wanted to dance to this song...why not at prom)
Life Theme:
"Another Sunny Day" Belle & Sebastian
(I'm a very happy person)
Mental Breakdown:
"Albi the Racist Dragon" Flight of the Concords
(Mental Breakdown means crazy right?)
Driving:
"Ground Control To Major Tom" David Bowie
(Another person will be in the car with me and we will sing together and it will be epic...true story)
Flashback:
"Be Nice to Animals" The Salteens
(Ha...I picture my parents or grandparents teaching me a valuable lesson in a zoo even though this never really happend...)
Sex Scene:
"I'm Too Sexy" Right Said Fred
(Dancing and Stripping will be involved)
Wedding Scene:
"Whip It" Devo
(We will make an awesome couple...)
Birth of a Child:
"Raising My Family" Steve Kekana
(I picture an awkward car scene with me and my husband stopped at a stoplight and both look in the backseat at a child smiling...and we both have the facial expressions of "what the hell are we doing".
Final Battle:
"Who's Gonna Save My Soul" Gnarls Barkley
(Again, with the epic battle...pretty sure I'm going to fight off robots or something)
Death Scene:
"Last Living Souls" Gorillaz
(The World Dies With Me except the robots)
Funeral Song:
"Robots" Flight of the Concords
(Yeahhh the song explains everything)
End Credits:
"Marina Gasolina" Bonde Do Role
(I just really like this song...I will be dancing in a little box in the top right corner)
--------------
I suggest you listen to all those songs while reading my notes about them. It will be an epic comedy...and everyone will laugh.
--------------
Today is a good day.

Good Day/Buen Dia/Bon Jour

Hey.
I changed my major.
Nothing dramatic, but it added on more classes.
I am now a Spanish & Portuguese major with a French minor.
I then began to plan out the next 4 years and realized that I have to start taking Portuguese next semester.
My advisor will call me stupid for taking 3 languages at once,
But I don't really care what she thinks of me.
Next semester will be fun.
----------
Today was a really good day.
I woke up and found out I did good on my French test that I did minimal studying for.
I got a package from Susan Draves.
I skipped Psychology to study for Spanish.
I turned in my Humanities paper and it was a relief.
I took an easy Spanish test.
I finally started crossing things off my list so I'm less stressed.
I planned out my future and feel really happy about it.
-----------
I'm pretty sure I have an in class French composition tomorrow.
This is okay because I got 10/10 on the composition part of my test.
But, I must study anyways.
------------
Take the short route because it might be longer than you thought.
I hope your bed is as soft as a bunch of baby bunnies.
------------
Je peux parler francais tres bien. Je veux estudier francais dans la universitaire. Maintenaunt je veux dormir.
Aujourd' hui il fait froid et il pleut. Je n'aime pas le temps froid.
Mi routine c'est: d'abord je me leve. Ensuite, me douche. Puis, me habille. Apres me maquille. Enfin me brosse les dents.
Demain je vais a estudier, manger avec Mike, aller a las classes, et estudier psychologie parce que c'est tres difficile.
That is all I can think of...thanks for reading.

Not Yours, Not Mine

I find it interesting how people can be possessive of other people
And when people treat people as objects.
I often find myself feeling as if I know someone better than someone else
Or feeling as if they like me more.
But, the truth is that is a bit ridiculous.
Because I hate it when people feel possessive over me.
I don't like the feeling that someone thinks they know you so well
They try to use it to their own advantage.
-----------
Today I will attend an optional meeting.
This meeting is about what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Specifically my exact career.
I'm looking forward to this.
-----------
I hope to someday be the best.
Right now I am not the best at anything.
I can accept that because not many people are.
-----------
Sometimes it seems we need words of encouragement.
So I will say you are good at what you do
And you can be whatever you want to be.
-----------
Sometimes I just don't think that's enough.
But, it won't stop me.
So don't let it stop you.
-----------
I wish I could curl up in your arms and sleep.
That sounds nice.

Mon Ami

Bonjour! Ca va mon ami? J'ai un examen demain.
Qu'est-ce que vous faites ce soir? Je vais a etudier. Je ne peux aller au cinema ou faire du sport. Quel dommage!
Quel temps fait-il? Il fait beau et du soleil. C'est l'automne. J'aime l'automne.
Aujourd'hui je vais a manger en Middlebrook avec Mike. Apres je vais a aller a la classe. Enfin je vais a faire du se coucher.
-------
That is my French. I have learned so much yet know nothing. I need a lot of help for my test tomorrow...and by help I mean I need to study. I have so much to do this week.
-------
I had an amazing week last week. Actually from right around the 8th of October until today I have done something fun. That's really good and really bad for obvious reasons. But, I am confident that everything will be completed.
--------
You can count on me practicing my French a lot here because I really need to practice and I think it looks beautiful.
---------
This is my "good student" week in which I will be a good student.
----------
The End.
----------
P.S. I got cake for my birthday.

Nineteen

Hey there.

So...tomorrow is my birthday. Actually, at 1:33am is my birthday (which is still tomorrow).

I think birthdays are awkward and pointless, but I still love them. Why? I haven't quite figured that out. I'm not a huge fan of being the center of attention, but it is always nice to have people care about you just a little bit more than the average day. It's how I imagine it would be like to be famous (translation: LOTS of facebook notifications). Cake is good, but I never get that anymore sadly. You also get to do more stuff every year without it being looked down upon.

So,what do I gain this year with my age of wisdom? Glad you ask because 19 is a beautiful age of nothingness that I still feel like I'm gaining a lot for. I didn't think I had anything at all this year, but while I was looking up stuff for curing upper respiratory flu (because that's what I have had for a few days now) I came across "In the United States the Food and Drug Administration recommends that aspirin should not be given to children under 19 years of age during episodes of fever." So, I'm now in the clear for that. Even though I don't take aspirin it's nice to know that I can do something other people can't (muahaha aspirin during a fever). Chris Polansky told me I can buy cigarettes in New Jersey now...I don't smoke, but at least I know I can when I'm chilling outside the Newark airport.

Today I began my pre-celebration by going to Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter. Quite good I must say. I laughed a lot and it was the type of entertaining where you just want to keep watching. I thought the audience was annoying. I was disappointed in Minneapolis for that. The Pantages theater is so beautiful though. I really want to go skydiving.

Tomorrow I continue celebrating by attending class (woo hoo) or at least 1 or 2 of the 3. Then I'm going to Faith Healer at the Guthrie with Andrew. Then going to Where the Wild Things are with a few people. I'm excited...like super excited.

I like you, and Budda too.
I hope your un-birthday treats you well.

Sincerely,
Me

What I Know That You Don't Know That I Think You Should Know

Everything has taken a turn
Life is still a little off balance
I've never loved it so much.

I have mountains upon mountains of things to do,
Yet I know they will somehow get done.

I've decided the route of the road of life.
I'm not sure what the scenery looks like,
But I know the end is exactly how I want it to be.

I spoke ill of him and he responded.
The subject was covered in dust,
But has once again been uncovered.

Today I got from Switzerland to Narnia
And Krista to Twilight.
Just a fun little game.

I need things.
Things like posters.

It's my birthday this Friday.
I'm excited.
Wednesday Through Saturday and maybe Sunday
Will be Epic.

I want you to listen to yourself
And decide whether I like what you're saying
Because sometimes you make me sad.
But a part of me doesn't care at all.

Snails actually have thousands of teeth.

To The Limit of my Mind

There's no end in sight.

135 pages of Psych reading and counting...
3 online quizzes...
11 pages of Humanities reading...
1 hour of studying for French...
3 loads of laundry...
10+ French online assignments...
1 essay to make corrections on...
Endless studying...

Yet, there's still no end in sight...

I will continue my Psychology reading...then take a practice test.
And soon I will be prepared for this scary week.

2 exams...
2 meetings...
6+ online assignments...
1 book to read...
1 essay exam to begin...

I will continue on my reading journey...
Goodnight.
Have a nice Monday.

Lessons At Learning

I attempted to come up with a top 10 list of my favorite bands, but instead came up with a list of my top 20. These are in no particular order (I also made sure to represent each one of them in my blog playlist):

-Sufjan Stevens
-The New Pornographers
-Voxtrot
-Band of Horses
-The Flaming Lips
-Sondre Lerche
-Dr. Dog
-Islands
-Yo La Tengo
-The Decemberists
-Peter Bjorn and John
-Okkervil River
-The Shins
-Belle & Sebastian
-Rogue Wave
-The Offspring
-Citizen Cope
-Matt Costa
-The Mountain Goats
-Psapp

------------
I had a really awesome Friday. By day I saw my best friend Josh Draves-Kellerman and by night I hung out with Andrew Buckholtz and met a bunch of people. It was really fun...both day and night.
-------------
I've decided if I were to go back to meet any person/people in history they would be Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. I had heard this response to this question earlier in my life and thought it was super lame, but I didn't truly appreciate anything in that time. Taking Humanities in the West has completely changed my opinion on history. By the end of the class I have a feeling I will have my beliefs pretty much in order because today was the beginning of something good.
--------------
I've learned a lot in the past month. Things I knew in the back of my mind already, but never appreciated. One being there is always somebody better than me and somebody worse than me. Two being I am a unique person with many unique traits, but in the grand scheme of the University I am not unique at all. Three being I will never have another day in my life with nothing to do. And of course there are many more things, but those are the main ones I can think of off the top of my head.
-------------
I love the way things are because I like a challenge.
I wouldn't change anything.
Hope you have a Super Sunday...
I'll be doing homework all day just like I did today.
But, it's okay because it will result in being more prepared than last week.
Adios.

Beautiful October

October has arrived.
The month of the year.
The month where everything happens.
The month where I turn 19.
I can't wait.
---------------
This weekend will be good.
I spend time with an old friend.
I spend time with new friends.
---------------
I have a French Oral Exam tomorrow,
A Psych exam on Monday
And a French Exam on Tuesday.
My partner and I are going to kill the oral exam in a good way.
I suck at pronounciation, but I practiced!
----------------
I did pretty well on my first two exams: Spanish & French.
That makes me happy.
I'm sensing college grades and I will get along just fine.
----------------
Today I had a love-hate relationship with the rain.
I love sitting inside and watching it
And going outside for a short walk.
But, I hateee walking to class in it.
But, I survived, and today was a decent day.
-----------------
My plan is coming together quite nicely.
Perhaps you will understand on a later date.
------------------
In the meantime, I now have 3,336 songs on my itunes.
I've found myself to have a music addiction
And I love it.
-----------------
Have a beautiful weekend.
Live your life beautifully.

Happiness, Passion, Strength

Expressing myself is overrated.
Who needs to hear how I feel?
And if they do, who is to say they can fully understand?
I never feel it necessary to grasp an emotion other than happiness, passion, strength and a couple of others.
All the others are wasted--saddness, complaining, bitterness, anger, frustration, etc.
---------------
She is part of the reason for my future
And that's all you need to know...
That's all you need to feel.
----------------
I cherish the words of a song that say "It took a funeral to make me feel alive."
I live to be alive, but why do I die?
I have extended beliefs on what happens afterwards, but you wouldn't understand.
I don't mean to judge you, your intelligence, or beliefs, but it's true.
You have your beliefs and I have mine.
But, the one thing that matters while you're here is that you make the best of it.
I'm pretty sure we can all agree on that.
Ask yourself everyday if you made the best of this day.
Few days the answer to that is yes, but please don't dwell.
It wastes time.
-----------------
Acknowledgement and Acceptence
are the two most important words when dealing with problems.
Difficult to do, yes.
------------------
I talk about this for two reasons.
An important person in my life passed away today
And I did terrible on a quiz I took today.
Both completely unrelated in subject matter and intensity,
But yet I discovered both required the same process.
-------------------
Thank-you. You were an inspiration.

And, to you, the reader
You are an inspiration to someone more than you'll ever know.
Acknowledge, accept, and live your life.
Stop the worthless emotions and express the others.
Then, you will find true happiness.
I haven't quite found it, but I'm getting there.
--------------------
Have a beautiful day.

While You Were Away

Aquaintances have disappeared and I'm left with friends.
I like this situation so much better.
Even though I would probably have had fun if I went home this weekend,
I am 100% satisfied with my decision to stay here
Because my weekend was as much fun (if not more) than if I would have gone home.
-------------
I went to an awesome concert with a person I had only been in the same room with, but never talked to (Chris Polansky)...and it was great. There was very little small talk and our night ended in a large amount of inside jokes. It was in the top 5 best nights of September.
Saturday I went to the gym with Elissa. I must say that I am still sore. She told me I should be doing pushups every night so that the next time we go we will be more prepared. Tonight I will start that, but godddddd my arms hurt. It was really fun though.
Sunday I had a lunch date at the Tea Garden with Andrew Buckholtz. It was delicious. Then we went back to Middlebrook and joined a group of people to do homework. First we got rained out when we were outside so we went inside a building. When we came out a few hours later it turned to November or December. We walked to Lucky Dragon and got Chinese to go. And then just hung out for a while. Andrew, Mike, and I took a bunch of pictures with Andrew's webcam and it was hilarious. This could also be in the top 5 nights/days of September.
-----------------
A spider was crawling on the desk next to me in French class today. One of those enormous ones. And it landed on my backpack. I freaked out quite a bit...but it was understandable considering how gross it was. I've decided I have an actually phobia of spiders...not just a fear. I've come to accept that as okay. I'm not in a hurry to get over it...
------------------
Psych
Humanities
Spanish
Is the rest of my day.
Lots of homework is in the future for tonight...
I'm not excited.
I don't want to bike in this cold weather either....
But, I will anyways...
Good day.

Two Hours Time

Today I had great conversation beyond comprehension.
I discussed everything important.
Everything that few people know.
And things I'm pretty sure that not one single person knows.
I tend to tell different people different things.
Not lies,
Just different facts so that nobody can say they completely know me.
I feel like one other person might know a lot of these things I discussed today.
And another person comes close, but can't say that's the truth.
Today I had a person take deep interest in what I had to say.
Usually people don't listen, so I don't tell.
I don't like forcing conversation about myself.
I also don't want people to say that they know me.
Because I don't believe anyone can truly know another person.
And I've had people say they know me even though they don't.
----------------
Generalizations are the worst thing you can say to me.
Then to look at me with that look like I'm wrong.
You don't know what I've never told you.
So trust me when I say what's a false statement about me.
------------------
I felt really refreshed after today and also very inspired.
I feel like I could pull and all nighter and just be productive.
Even though I'm incredibly tired and know that would be very stupid.
I wish I could tell you what I discussed today,
But a part of me believes that you will never truly listen
So I will never truly tell you.
-------------------
I'll never call you on your generalizations,
But you'll know when I feel defeated.
I have a look that I give and an attitude that I get.
I'm capable of defending myself, but never want to reveal the information it takes.
Defending myself is also something I don't feel necessary.
I only discuss when things are natural.
---------------------
Today was a good day based only on two hours of time.
I wish that every hour were like those two.
---------------------

Razzmatazz!

Today's theme turned out to be music.
I surpassed the 3,000 song mark on my itunes.
It was an epic moment.
I have some new favorite bands today: Manchester Orchestra, The Real Tuesday Weld, Under The Influence of Giants, Minus the Bear, The Black Keys, Yo La Tengo, Film School, and Edison Glass.
Next week I'm sure I will have more.
-----------
Today I took two exams.
.French went well. I'm guessing I got 3-5 points off out of 60.
.Spanish went well. The listening section was pretty messed up, but I suppose it's possible I got 100%...unlikely, but possible.
I also took a Psychology discussion essay quiz thing that we do every week. The first of three questions was fairly difficult, but the rest were good and I think I can B.S. well enough to get all the points.
------------
Today as my Spanish teacher was going on and on about football I was thinking about how people can feel so possessive over a group of talented people. I think the same thing about relationships. I wish I knew why everyone was so desperate to have control over everything. Oh well.
------------
I really like the word razzmatazz. I'm not sure how I can use it in a conversation, but I'm going to make a direct effort to do so.
-------------
Until later.
Goodbye.

Tri-Lingual Blog

J'ai un cours d'espagnol, francais, psychologie, et sciences humaines. Le francais est passionnant et difficile. Il commence a neuf heures cinq. Le espagnol est facile et il commence a cinq heures moins vingt. Psychologie est ennuyeux et commence a une heure vingt. Sciences humaines est passionnant et commence a doix heures et demie. J'ai espagnol et francais lundi, mardi, mercredi, jeudi, et vendredi. J'ai psychologie lundi, mardi, mercredi, et vendredi et sciences humaines lundi et mercredi.
-----------
I have a French exam tomorrow, obviously. I also have a Spanish exam, but I already know how to say stuff in there. I'm very proud of the above paragraph even though it's really nothing special and is actually really lame, but definately correct besides accents. French is really hard, but I also love it.
------------
Today was a really really good day. Why, you ask? Well, it started off with a conversation with Mike because he spent the night at my dorm...I'm not much of a morning person, but when people are around me I tend to get over that. Then in French we just reviewed and it was pretty nice. Then on my way back I hit a person on my bike (this is not good), but they survived with no injuries. I wasted some time in my dorm then ate lunch in Middlebrook with Mike. I went to Psychology and actually had a professor I liked (lately the Pysch professors have been super boring). I went to Humanities and loved it as always..for being a 2+ hour class it goes by really fast. I went to the Purple Onion and got a Mocha Chiller. Then in Spanish we played Mata La Mosca and it was fun...I'm starting to really like our class. I also liked my group. Got home and was productive. Took my Psych quiz online and aced it the first time with minimal help from the book and it's over the nervous system. After dancing around my room because I was so happy, I accomplished more. How awesome does that day sound? Pretty darn awesome.
--------------
I must say that I am in a relationship with Sondre Lerche...except he doesn't know it and neither does his wife. I love him. If he wasn't so funny and his accent wasn't so frickin' awesome I wouldn't, but I suppose it also helps that he is fairly attractive and sings/plays the guitar fantasticly. He signed my shirt I bought. I was super excited...still am.
---------------
I love my life here. Even though it's stressful a lot of the time, it is exactly what I want right now.
--------------
I have to get back to studying. I just needed a break.
--------------
Adios. Espero que tengas un buen dia manana y espero que vaya a sacar una A en mi examen de espanol. Hoy yo tuve un buen dia. La moda es una cosa muy importante para mucha gente como la nina de nueve anos y las pinturas que son anuncios. Para mi la moda es una expresion y nada mas. Es estupido siempre estar a la moda sin su propio estilo. Usa tu mente por favor.
-------------
There. I think I'm ready.
Hasta Later.

.Jared.

This is Jared. He wanted me to mention him tonight. He didn't request I put up a picture...especially this one, but it made me laugh and we all love laughter.
--------------
Originally I didn't plan on writing anything so this might be a little lame. Just to clarify.
--------------
Today I saw both of my favorites...then I saw three more new favorites. I went to a twins game. I wandered around downtown Minneapolis with friends. I played "Skunk or Skank"...a game that I pretty much made up...skunk means okay and skank holds true to the name. I did French homework. Um...that seems about all I did. But, it was a very successful day.
----------------
That's really all I have to say. Enjoy the picture of Jared. It's a classic.

Waitin' For a Superman

Today I heard two different conversations in a language I don't comprehend.

First:
*lots of words I don't understand* laxative *more words I don't understand*
*laughter*

Second:
*10 minutes of words I don't understand*
"It's just so hard to take anything seriously."
*10 more minutes of a different language*
"And it was the funniest thing ever."
*Back to the other language...*
"But...at least you have Chinese."
"Yeah, that's true."
*More words I don't understand."

I found them both to be amusing. There was more to the second that was funny, but I can't remember because I wasn't that much of a creeper. They were just right next to me for two hours at a coffee shop and I overheard random English.
--------------
I had a dream that my friend won $1,137 with a $35 gift certificate to a random casino. I want to know why my subconscious picked that number...I was even confused in the dream.
--------------
I found a location I can escape from everything and the location where I'm going to meet the guy of my dreams. I'm just saying...I'm pretty sure that's what is going to happen.
--------------
I have lots of plans for the weekend. This is exciting news. I also have a lot of homework and two exams on Tuesday. This is not exciting news.
--------------
I've decided I will try to make all my twitters at least semi-funny. I tend to not be creative in my humor and just quote other people, but it is now my goal to come up with my own, and might I say I am pretty proud of my accomplishments the past two days. Also, I tend to use twitter to say my frustrations and I've realized most people don't care. This is unimportant news to the majority, but it was necessary to type out. So don't complain.
---------------
There's a guy in my Spanish class that reminds me of someone. That is the only reason I laugh at almost everything he says and feel comfortable enough to make fun of him. I don't know who he reminds me of, but I get closer and closer to figuring it out every day. He let me borrow his "golf" pencil today. I felt pretty honored.
---------------
I have a bunch of pending friendships. Like the kind where you know if you keep working on it you'll have a bunch of close friends, but you're only on the "Hey, how's it going? Let's make sarcastic humor together and then say goodbye." basis. I also met someone named Raha today...she seemed really nice, but I'll probably never see her again. I like how big this school so I can meet someone new every day, but also, I wish those friendships would just cultivate so I would have go-to people.
----------------
I should probably be doing homework.
I will do homework.

Happy TGIF & Rosh Hashanah.

I'm On Fire

My thoughts become tangled
And I feel as if my mind
Is incapable of continuation.
I have all the motivation in the world,
Yet in the moment have none at all.
Inspiration has slipped out from under my palm
Even though I thought I had it captured.
I find my fears only becoming stronger
And my strength becoming weaker.
Yet, I will always look to you and say:
"I am doing just fine. Can you tell?"
-------------------------
I really am doing just fine.
Today was Thursday.
People know I'm not a fan of Thursdays.
It is supposedly my "best" day of the week this college season
Because I only have 2 classes:
French & Spanish.
Yet, with all this downtime I find myself not having a purpose.
I find myself more inspired when I accomplish things.
--------------------------
I'm thinking about changing things.
I'm thinking about changing how I deal with Spanish.
I'm thinking about changing my major...or at least one of them.
I'll give the future time to figure itself out,
But Spanish needs to be acted upon.
And just so you know I still want to major in Spanish.
I'm thinking twice about Psychology.
Twice.
---------------------------
I have a plan
But refuse to flat out state it
Because that leads to pressure and expectations.
Maybe I need some of those
But right now they are unimportant.
-----------------------------

I really hope the inspiration returns.

Mercredi

Yesterday I was inspired.
Today I am still.
Last night I had a dream that I killed the antagonist
Using a fork, a knife, and a bowl...
Yesterday's enemy
Became my new friend today.
Last night I went to bed with a blanket of steam
And awoke to a beautiful breeze.
--------------
I love French.
I love my teacher and I love the language.
I hope she knows what a good teacher she is
Because I've learned more in the past week than I learned in 6 months of Spanish I.
---------------
I read a beautiful poem/book yesterday.
Agamemnon.
Don't read it for the plot.
----------------
Yesterday I experienced my first feeling of "homesickness".
Only it wasn't homesickness.
I just really wanted to go to work at Nosh and Hope's Harvest.
But, as of now, I'm too busy to get a job.
Perhaps once I figure things out.
-----------------
I will be receiving lots of mail in the next week.
Lots of fan mail, lots of other mail.
If you desire also, just ask for my address.
------------------
Very soon things will be falling into place.
They are already starting to.
I'm a much happier person now.
And my sickness is slowly disappearing
And today, so is my voice.
But, it's a good thing...it's means I'm recovering.
------------------
I'm thinking about changing my mind.
-------------------
I like you.

Sick

I'm sick.
But my body is convinced that it can't get sick.

I feel like I have a fever all over my body.
That feeling in my throat still hasn't gone away,
And I wake up in the middle of the night to cough.
My nose is running
And I feel weak to the point of wanting to collapse.

I need to eat good food.
My eatting habits have been terrible in the past week.
I need to buy groceries.

I just wish I could stop time.

Oh well, I have to go to class soon.
I'll deal with this after French.

Deux Mondes

I have this painful feeling in my throat.
Like right before I get sick.
My nose feels funny
And can't explain how I feel.
Maybe it's stress
Because I refuse to get sick.
Refuse.
----------
I'm depressed for one reason today.
Only one reason.
One simple reason that I don't really care to talk about
Because it frustrated me so much.
I should get over it though
Because soon enough it won't even matter.
-----------
I had 2 classes.
Did about 8 hours of homework.
My brain is fried.
------------
I did chat with an awesome someone.
We agreed and we laughed.
We decided I'm "not an angry person."
...or at least I decided.
I'm glad this person is here
Because I might have cried otherwise
And we all know I don't cry.
-------------
I might study for another hour or so.
I might just go to bed.
I might get randomly invited to some random event.
I might just waste time on facebook and itunes.
3 events are very likely. 1 is not likely.
We'll see how it all works out.
-------------
I'm impressed with society
Because neither my bike seat nor the bike itself has been stolen.
However,
I found a condom in the shower this morning
And it left me feeling confused.
I don't know how I feel about society.
-------------
The End.

He Looks Like Prof. Snape

I survived.
And, not only did I survive, but I survived in the rain.
----------
I'm getting a negative vibe from Psych just based on the fact there's 700 people in it. I find it very hard to focus on anything. People's comments also get to me. But, I promise to make the best of it because it's one of my majors in this moment.
----------
Ironically my two favorite classes are not the two that are a part of my major. I love French and I love Humanities in the West.
----------
I almost stood up in the middle of Humanities to give my professor a hug, but I figured that would be inappropriate.
You see, I thought that class got out at 4:25, giving me 15 minutes to the next class (not bad, but more time is better). Instead he says that he will do everything he can to get us out by 4:10 every day. There is also 10 points extra credit for perfect attendance. Woo Hoo!
---------
One of my Psych instructors said that 80% of our class is statistically suppose to get the Swine Flu.
One person in my Psych class is statistically suppose to be hospitalized.
---------
I just realized that it is 11:00 and I still haven't done my French homework. I had lots to tell, but I will wait.
--------
End.

Summary of My Day: Just Because

Today I:
-awoke at 7:03 and decided it is the offical time I will wake up the rest of the year
-understood French only based on Spanish
-lost more blood from a blister than a lot of other injuries I have had
-met a girl named Megan and had at least two things in common with her
-went to lunch with Mike and was once again impressed with my cafeteria's food
-walked Mike to his English class
-ran into my two Welcome Week besties
-knew someone in my Spanish class
-was told to knock on one of the top 5 most talented people I've met's door whenever I come to Middlebrook next
-was called honey by another one of the top five most talented people I've met
-carried my bike down 4 flights of stairs and almost died physically and physcially
-called my mom and she started crying
-did dishes and took out the trash
-listened to more music than the average person
-finally decided to ask for this guy's number just so I can find him in my class of over 700 people tomorrow
-decided I need to make best friends with Tracy, Celina, and Irene, but can't figure out how to do that without being awkward
-made unfortunate eye contact with the pamphlet guy and got handed a pamphlet
-realized I still am out of breath when I get up the stairs
-sweat a lot
-decided I'll wait a week (or until Thursday) before the gym & yoga
-decided I will go poster shopping tomorrow if schedule allows

Lose Everything, Free to do Anything

My floor is no longer dead,
But instead has been filled with snuddy upperclassmen.
I find them quite repulsive.
And apparently they feel the same way about me.
----------
A group of guys knocked on my door while Riley was visiting.
They introduced themselves.
I wish more people would do that.
It just makes sense.
Even though I'm sure they won't care about me again.
Whatever. It was a nice gesture.
----------
My feet are covered in blisters.
But, I feel in very good shape
---------
This week feels really awkward.
Everything about it.
I feel like you have to push everything too fast to get where you want to be.
And that all the people I meet are only aquaintances.
-----------
I haven't quite found what I'm looking for,
But I didn't expect to right away.
I'm satisfied with my decisions
And soon I will be happy.
I am happy.
I'll keep telling myself that.
---------
*You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.

*...you're not how much money you've got in the bank. You're not your job. You're not your family, and you're not who you tell yourself.... You're not your name.... You're not your problems.... You're not your age.... You are not your hopes.

Velociraptor

I'm tired like none other,
And that's always awkward for first impressions.
But, somehow I'm still meeting friends.
Apparently they are the same way.
------
The second day and today were the 2 best days for me. 2nd day because there was more free time and today because I'm satisfied with my sanford friend selection. It started off with this one guy introducing himself. And we kind of talked for a while...then during a presentation these two guys turned around and talked. It ended up being us 4 hanging out the rest of the day. I played rockband with Nick and Collin (the two that introduced themselves). It was pretty fun even though they are wayyyy more talented than I am. I wish singing wasn't such a vital tool...or I just wish I could sing good, but whatever. I'm happy.
------
I leave in 20 minutes to go listen to Jermaine Davis give a motivational speech. Not too thrilled, but at the same time I guess it wont be too bad...at least I don't have to sit by this one awkward guy anymore.
-------
That is all for now...I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring except volunteer stuff called "Utopia"...whatever that means....
--------
Hasta Later!

Title.

Hey.
It's me.
I'm a little uninspired, so excuse my creativity for not being present.
----------
Today was a good day.
Except for small groups.
Lame.
Though, my group is pretty funny. I can't see any long term friendships with them though so I'll just make casual talk.
-----------
I really love everything about the U. Made some pretty sweet friends. And that's that.
-----------
The days start getting busy as far as Welcome Week goes.
If I can survive this I can survive college.
-----------
Well, I surprisingly have nothing to say....I think I'll walk alone in the dark tonight & I'll just call the escort service to get back. Simple.
------------
I'll talk to you later I guess....
Excuse me for this boringness.

This Process.

The process of this sucked.
I cried today,
But not because I was sad or because I was leaving,
But rather, I was so frustrated with my mother.
She was being a pain.
----------
The process of this sucked.
My parents got lost.
Which wasn't bad because we weren't far away and I knew we would figure it out,
But my mom was being a pain.
She's so dramatic.
---------
This process is worth it.
I love that I can visit people and leave when I want.
I love how I get free escort service.
I love how my room is so peaceful and spacious.
Well not too spacious, but more than I was expecting.
----------
I put a reed difuser in my room and now it smells like the ocean.
It's quite strong, but I like it.
-----------
I'm really tired, but refuse to sleep.
Perhaps I'll get organized some more.
-----------
Riley and I are hanging out tomorrow.
I like this.

The Magical Cat

Today I saw a cat.
Twice.
It was the same cat I swear.
Only it was in two different towns,
Once at my house and once in Lake City.
How is this possible?
I'm not sure.
But, I looked up the meaning of cats in dreams,
And they mean bad luck.
Is it ironic I lost all my $10 at the casino?
I'm not sure.
I was creeped out the whole ride home.
I felt as if I was going to see this reappearing cat in the middle of the road
Just looking back at me.
But, I didn't.
I'm not a fan of this white cat with orange spots.
It's creepy & looks at me funny & it disappeared into the bushes at my house
& it's a symbol for me losing my money.
------------------
Today I ate a large meal, felt full, yet completely unsatisfied.
Why?
It's called Burger King. Duh.
I'm not a fan, but yet it's what I wanted.
-------------------
I hate Bob and Tom and their show.
I hate their laughter.
But yet, I'm watching them on TV now.
Simply so I can just see what they look like.
They look nothing like I imagined when I would listen to them at work at 5 in the morning.
The "Yeah Toast" song always makes me laugh.
If they don't play that in the next 5 minutes I'm switching channels.
---------------------
I love my best friend.
I love my friends in general.
Saying goodbye to these people is not fun.
I haven't said goodbye and given this many hugs in a long time.
I still don't feel like it's happening
So I haven't cried.
I don't think I will though.
Unless you throw chopped onions at my face.
That will do it.
-----------------------
I took a walk around my grandparents yard today after talking to them for 3 hours.
I had so many memories come rushing back:
Not finding any apples under the apple tree & then shaking it harder than I should.
Hunting for monarch caterpillars.
Finding blackberries and eatting them with milk.
Crashing into a tree on a sled with my grandma.
Drinking water from this fountain right next to the barn.
Playing with the fish in the fish pond.
----------------------
They haven't played "Yeah Toast" yet....I refuse to listen to them laugh anymore.
I'm watching 2 episodes of Scrubs instead.
--------------------
The End

To Kill a Fly

Today I killed a fly.
It flew around my face and around the store,
And then I hit it.
But, it wasn't dead. Yet.
It kicked and moved.
I kept trying to hit it again
To get it out of this misery.
I failed so I let it cling to my finger,
And brought it over to the counter.
And gave it another hit.
The blood splattered on the counter,
And it gave one final kick of its leg.
And it was just dead;
Lifeless for eternity.
I felt a little sad
And way too powerful.
Sure, it was just a fly.
But, who are you?
--------------------
As I was waiting for my mother to grab an item off her list at Target,
I noticed a guy giving samples and trying to sell some Special K.
I sympathized when person after person kept rejecting his offer.
It saddens me a little when people reject my free samples at Hope's Harvest.
So, I walked over, accepted his offer, and said it was good.
I ended up getting a box for breakfast at college.
I hope I made his day.
Even though I'm sure the product sold itself.
It was delicious.
---------------------
Today was goodbye #2.
And I felt a little more.
I love that job.
It made me more outgoing, showed me I had a slight passion for cooking.
It actually showed me I even had the capability of cooking.
I met some amazing people there,
Life changing people.
I suppose I will drop by for a visit on Thanksgiving.
Unless I visit home earlier.
----------------------
My mom got me a DVD series of Looney Tunes cartoons.
I will be watching it during those tough nights.
I love cartoons.
I also love Stranger Than Fiction.
----------------------
1 more day in the beautiful town of Lake City.
It's legs are still moving.
After tomorrow I suppose it will be like the fly.
Only life goes on without me,
And I will see it again.
But, doesn't that sound so poetic?
Gosh I'm so ready for college.
----------------------
Adios for tonight.
Oh,
Why doesn't every small creature carry a pin and a match like Tweety.
Life expectancy for them would go way up.
This bird has lived, what?, like 100+ years?
Think about that.
Goodbye.

BzzBzzBzz Spicy

Today as I was driving I saw a lonely star balloon
Floating across the sky in the middle of nowhere.
I wondered where it came from
And if there was a crying child somewhere.
I wondered if that child was the type to cry and get over it
or just dwell on it.
It's ironic how that balloon fit into the day I had.
-------------
Today was the first important last for me of 3 important ones (or 1 or 2 more).
Granted, I love every single one of my friends.
I'll miss them oh so desperately.
But, the truth is:
There were 2 friends that had a huge impact on me
And perhaps about 5 or so friends that had a decent impact on me.
And just some of those average people that I can hardly stand to look at anymore.
Some of those friends have left
Some of them haven't.
So far none of these silly goodbyes have meant anything to me
Because I'm not leaving nor have I left.
Goodbyes mean nothing to me unless I feel like something's happening.
And right now, in this moment I'm sitting in a chair watching TV & typing.
It's as simple as that.
--------------
But, today, I said goodbye to only one friend.
And I actually kinda felt something.
Maybe nothing huge,
But I think the process of realizing is finally starting to hit me.
It's not the 1 of 3, but I think it was an important goodbye.
I love you Ana.
-------------
Today my goodbye was to the core of my summer,
The greatest event to be given to me
The event I had been dreaming of since 9th grade.
And despite this event slapping me in the face more times than I can count,
I've never left disappointed.
I've always felt accomplished.
I learned more from this event than I learned in Chemistry
And that says a lot.
Today I began with a present
A present they won't understand why
A present they don't need to know why.
This event gave me a beautiful night back
Filled with a full dinning room of people
And a night without mistakes (the first night without a single small mistake).
But, anyways
Even if you could turn almost all of those sentences into a 'that's what she said' joke...
I'll just say that when it hits me that this goodbye happend
And that Nosh won't be in my life again until next summer (or some random vacation),
It will be quite a sad moment,
But I'm not the type to cry over the balloon and get over it,
Nor the type to dwell.
I just acknowledge and move on.
Because the important things in my life will never completely go away. I promise.
---------------
I've accepted the idea I'm dead on the inside,
Even though that's a false statement
And I really haven't accepted it.
But, whatever, it's simple enough for you to understand.
--------------
And, with that, I will leave you with the thought of making tomorrow an awesome day.
The final day at Hope's Harvest (important goodbye #2 & possibly #3)
Shopping with my mother
Chatting with my grandparents
----------------
Goodbye.
I must rest.