BzzBzzBzz Spicy

Today as I was driving I saw a lonely star balloon
Floating across the sky in the middle of nowhere.
I wondered where it came from
And if there was a crying child somewhere.
I wondered if that child was the type to cry and get over it
or just dwell on it.
It's ironic how that balloon fit into the day I had.
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Today was the first important last for me of 3 important ones (or 1 or 2 more).
Granted, I love every single one of my friends.
I'll miss them oh so desperately.
But, the truth is:
There were 2 friends that had a huge impact on me
And perhaps about 5 or so friends that had a decent impact on me.
And just some of those average people that I can hardly stand to look at anymore.
Some of those friends have left
Some of them haven't.
So far none of these silly goodbyes have meant anything to me
Because I'm not leaving nor have I left.
Goodbyes mean nothing to me unless I feel like something's happening.
And right now, in this moment I'm sitting in a chair watching TV & typing.
It's as simple as that.
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But, today, I said goodbye to only one friend.
And I actually kinda felt something.
Maybe nothing huge,
But I think the process of realizing is finally starting to hit me.
It's not the 1 of 3, but I think it was an important goodbye.
I love you Ana.
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Today my goodbye was to the core of my summer,
The greatest event to be given to me
The event I had been dreaming of since 9th grade.
And despite this event slapping me in the face more times than I can count,
I've never left disappointed.
I've always felt accomplished.
I learned more from this event than I learned in Chemistry
And that says a lot.
Today I began with a present
A present they won't understand why
A present they don't need to know why.
This event gave me a beautiful night back
Filled with a full dinning room of people
And a night without mistakes (the first night without a single small mistake).
But, anyways
Even if you could turn almost all of those sentences into a 'that's what she said' joke...
I'll just say that when it hits me that this goodbye happend
And that Nosh won't be in my life again until next summer (or some random vacation),
It will be quite a sad moment,
But I'm not the type to cry over the balloon and get over it,
Nor the type to dwell.
I just acknowledge and move on.
Because the important things in my life will never completely go away. I promise.
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I've accepted the idea I'm dead on the inside,
Even though that's a false statement
And I really haven't accepted it.
But, whatever, it's simple enough for you to understand.
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And, with that, I will leave you with the thought of making tomorrow an awesome day.
The final day at Hope's Harvest (important goodbye #2 & possibly #3)
Shopping with my mother
Chatting with my grandparents
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Goodbye.
I must rest.